Funny, little bit rude but funny ... little bit rude ... but funny ... little bit ...
Try this for a giggle to take the edge of the cold weather and credit crunch
http://damnyouautocorrect.com/category/best-of-dyac/%5C/page/3/
Anon.
Thursday 27 January 2011
Wallpapering ... You know you want to ...
Tried my hand at this over the week-end ...
It's easier than you think ...
Honest ...
You just need:
Wallpaper
Paste
Scissors
Cloth
Patience
And a real good friend to paste the wallpaper, pass the scissors, cloth, brush, paste, cloth, scissors, paste the wallpaper, pass the scissors, cloth. brush, paste, paste the wallpaper ... and most of all, keep you calm when you come across all those tiny tears and bubbles ...
Jill
This Day That Year ...
This day that year would have been Lewis Carroll's birthday :~
real name: Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (born 27 January 1832 – died 14 January 1898).
English author, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon and photographer, his most famous writings are 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', 'Through the Looking-Glass', 'The Hunting of the Snark' and "Jabberwocky', all examples of the genre of literary nonsense. He is noted for his word play, logic, and fantasy.
[Information courtesy of Wikepedia]
Also, this day that year ...
1888 National Geographical Society founded
1302 Dante was exiled from Florence
1970 John Lennon wrote and recorded Instant Karma ...
Although this day this year, I just need a hot deep bath.
Jill
real name: Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (born 27 January 1832 – died 14 January 1898).
English author, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon and photographer, his most famous writings are 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland', 'Through the Looking-Glass', 'The Hunting of the Snark' and "Jabberwocky', all examples of the genre of literary nonsense. He is noted for his word play, logic, and fantasy.
[Information courtesy of Wikepedia]
Also, this day that year ...
1888 National Geographical Society founded
1302 Dante was exiled from Florence
1970 John Lennon wrote and recorded Instant Karma ...
Although this day this year, I just need a hot deep bath.
Jill
Monday 24 January 2011
Mums in Distress ...Does this sound ok to you ?
Does this sound okay to you?
What say, when our wonderful children have matured some, got a job, social life, fitness regime, transport ... and their own place ...
We call round [when they're out] ... with our friends [facebook a few more before you leave home] ... take some booze [from our other son/daughter's hidden supply] ... get a lift ... [from our other son/daughter] ...pick up other mates on the way ... and arrive ~by driving over the grass and parking on it ... un-announced [that's ok because he/she's out] ...
Turn on the Music ... and Party on ... and on ... and [ the neighbours won't mind] ...
What say we all stay over? ... not bother to clear up [we'd be too tired] ... break a few glasses [they cost nothing] ... spill beer [it'd would wash off] ... have a food fight ... [just for fun] ... forget to vac up the packet of plain flour that someone we didn't really know, dropped on the new carpet ...
What say, we get our other son/daughter to pick us up in the morning, go home, shower, eat breakfast, watch a film then go round to our mates place till supper time ...???
Sounds cool to me ...
And What say ... if the next night ...
Jill
What say, when our wonderful children have matured some, got a job, social life, fitness regime, transport ... and their own place ...
We call round [when they're out] ... with our friends [facebook a few more before you leave home] ... take some booze [from our other son/daughter's hidden supply] ... get a lift ... [from our other son/daughter] ...pick up other mates on the way ... and arrive ~by driving over the grass and parking on it ... un-announced [that's ok because he/she's out] ...
Turn on the Music ... and Party on ... and on ... and [ the neighbours won't mind] ...
What say we all stay over? ... not bother to clear up [we'd be too tired] ... break a few glasses [they cost nothing] ... spill beer [it'd would wash off] ... have a food fight ... [just for fun] ... forget to vac up the packet of plain flour that someone we didn't really know, dropped on the new carpet ...
What say, we get our other son/daughter to pick us up in the morning, go home, shower, eat breakfast, watch a film then go round to our mates place till supper time ...???
Sounds cool to me ...
And What say ... if the next night ...
Jill
Sometimes ... You just need this ...
Sometimes, you just need this ...
With reeeaaaal Butter ........
Question: My washer is stuck with clothes and water in it ... How can I fix this?
Hello Daughter in Distress ... Thank you for your question ...
[Hope your best dress isn't in your washing machine]
When my washer sticks on a cycle, I usually turn the programme onto Rinse & Spin. This usually sorts the job out.
[Sometimes wash loads can unbalance the machine. Overloading doesn't help either]
Hope the Rinse and Spin Cycle works for you.
Good Luck.
Jill
[Hope your best dress isn't in your washing machine]
When my washer sticks on a cycle, I usually turn the programme onto Rinse & Spin. This usually sorts the job out.
[Sometimes wash loads can unbalance the machine. Overloading doesn't help either]
Hope the Rinse and Spin Cycle works for you.
Good Luck.
Jill
Tuesday 18 January 2011
Question: How do I make Real Gravy?
Hello Daughter in Distress ...
Thanks for your question: How Do I Make Real Gravy?
Yum, Real Gravy is a must when nothing major to do on a Sunday other than make a roast dinner. Of course, all gravy makers will have their own preferred method and you can make a roast on other days ... but this is how my mum taught me ...
Crumble oxo cube or 2 if you require more gravy into jug.
Add table spoon [or 2] plain flour.
Whisk together with a fork till all lumps vanish.
Add white pepper.
Pour juices from roasting tray into a medium size pan [presume you are roasting some meat / chicken?].
Thanks for your question: How Do I Make Real Gravy?
Yum, Real Gravy is a must when nothing major to do on a Sunday other than make a roast dinner. Of course, all gravy makers will have their own preferred method and you can make a roast on other days ... but this is how my mum taught me ...
Crumble oxo cube or 2 if you require more gravy into jug.
Add table spoon [or 2] plain flour.
Whisk together with a fork till all lumps vanish.
Add white pepper.
Pour juices from roasting tray into a medium size pan [presume you are roasting some meat / chicken?].
Add cooking water from the vegetables. Heat up.
** [Add wine here - be sure to 'cook the alcohol off' = cook a little longer before mixing]
Fill up the jug with flour/water mix with veg and juices. Stir.
Very Slowly, pour in and stir the contents of the jug into the pan.
Bring to boil - stirring all the time.
Cook on low heat for few minutes [ to ensure flour is cooked ]
Add more salt and pepper to suit your taste.
**You can add red wine at the ** stage ~ especially if serving with beef.
Enjoy!
Jill
Friday 14 January 2011
Apple Chutney : ~
Either I've got too much time on my hands or I was procrastinating again ...
Apple Chutney ~ from home grown apples [apparently, it's been a bumper year for apples in the UK ~ an interesting topic you could slip into conversation with your new date ...]
These are the last two jars. Am I imaginging this or do they look animated ... ?
Maybe I've been reading too much Joanne Harris ...
in 'Blackberry Wine', she has wine bottles talking to each other :D !!
Jill
Apple Chutney ~ from home grown apples [apparently, it's been a bumper year for apples in the UK ~ an interesting topic you could slip into conversation with your new date ...]
These are the last two jars. Am I imaginging this or do they look animated ... ?
Maybe I've been reading too much Joanne Harris ...
in 'Blackberry Wine', she has wine bottles talking to each other :D !!
Jill
Can't You Hear Me ?
Star Tip:
Don't be horrid to your mum if she hasn't just heard you correctly ... she's probably got a lot on her mind ~ planning the day's workload: deciding whether to make pork goulash or fillet mignon for tea; filling out the diary and stretching finances for your next holiday; arranging the plumber to fix a power pump into your shower. She's possibly worried about getting to the office on time, fitting in a meeting with a joiner during lunch break and food shopping on the way home ... She could be stressed about university fees, parking tickets [yours - not hers], the price of fuel [yours and hers], elderly relatives, the recent bi-election, snow conditions and floods in Australia ~ even though the relatives live in New Zealand. She might have a cold or even flu ... Or maybe, she just can't hear you properly ... you were just asking for a loan ... right ??
Only joking ... but do the washing up would you?
Jill
Don't be horrid to your mum if she hasn't just heard you correctly ... she's probably got a lot on her mind ~ planning the day's workload: deciding whether to make pork goulash or fillet mignon for tea; filling out the diary and stretching finances for your next holiday; arranging the plumber to fix a power pump into your shower. She's possibly worried about getting to the office on time, fitting in a meeting with a joiner during lunch break and food shopping on the way home ... She could be stressed about university fees, parking tickets [yours - not hers], the price of fuel [yours and hers], elderly relatives, the recent bi-election, snow conditions and floods in Australia ~ even though the relatives live in New Zealand. She might have a cold or even flu ... Or maybe, she just can't hear you properly ... you were just asking for a loan ... right ??
Only joking ... but do the washing up would you?
Jill
~ Something to Think about ...
Just remember girls and boys ... partners usually start as they mean to go on ...
Leopards don't change their spots ...
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear ...
Yet Life's not all beer and skittles ...
Other than that, you should be okay
Jill
Leopards don't change their spots ...
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear ...
Yet Life's not all beer and skittles ...
Other than that, you should be okay
Jill
Monday 3 January 2011
Ahh ... How cute ...
Couldn't help smiling at this ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBA_lxUiwSg&feature=player_embedded
According to it's owners ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBA_lxUiwSg&feature=player_embedded
According to it's owners ...
Question: Can you please help me get rid of my hangover?
Hello Daughter clearly in distress ...
Hangover ~ well now, let's see ... You could have a go at this tried and tested day:
Breakfast:
Tumbler of freshly squeezed orange juice.
Bacon, Fried bread, Sausage, Beans, Tomato [Grilled - healthier than fried], Mushrooms, Fried egg [scrambled without butter if you're on a diet]. Brown toast with real butter [even if on a diet] Extra bread and butter. More beans.
Brunch:
Potato pie, chips and gravy.
At least 3 Cups of tea.
Lunch:
Heinz Tomato soup with plenty of white bread and real butter.
Maybe glass of squash.
Dinner:
Roast Beef, Yorkshire puddings, buttered carrots, cabbage, roast potatoes
Apple Crumble, custard, cream or ice-cream [or all three]
Glass or two of red wine.
Supper:
Half packet plain chocolate digestives.
Beaker of coffee.
Hope that does the trick.
Otherwise, drink gallons of water, take regular painkillers [as prescribed on packet] and stay in bed all day ...
either
with boyfriend / girlfriend
or
watching Love Actually or similar rom com.
Jill
Hangover ~ well now, let's see ... You could have a go at this tried and tested day:
Breakfast:
Tumbler of freshly squeezed orange juice.
Bacon, Fried bread, Sausage, Beans, Tomato [Grilled - healthier than fried], Mushrooms, Fried egg [scrambled without butter if you're on a diet]. Brown toast with real butter [even if on a diet] Extra bread and butter. More beans.
Brunch:
Potato pie, chips and gravy.
At least 3 Cups of tea.
Lunch:
Heinz Tomato soup with plenty of white bread and real butter.
Maybe glass of squash.
Dinner:
Roast Beef, Yorkshire puddings, buttered carrots, cabbage, roast potatoes
Apple Crumble, custard, cream or ice-cream [or all three]
Glass or two of red wine.
Supper:
Half packet plain chocolate digestives.
Beaker of coffee.
Hope that does the trick.
Otherwise, drink gallons of water, take regular painkillers [as prescribed on packet] and stay in bed all day ...
either
with boyfriend / girlfriend
or
watching Love Actually or similar rom com.
Jill
Sunday 2 January 2011
Daughters [not] in distress ....
Hello Daughters [not] in distress ...
How's this for a student Christmas home visit ...
Be jealous now mums:
Perhaps they'll do the turkey roast next year ??
Jill
Help ... I've spilt tea on a pale carpet ...
Hello Daughter in Distress...
Hope it's your carpet then there won't be a claims direct moment ...
If you've spilt tea on carpet:
Dab as much tea from the spillage as possible [with a CLEAN cloth]
Pour water onto the stain and soak up with CLEAN cloth [don't want any other stains accidentally adding themselves to the tea!]
[Don't rub carpet as the pile will break down and look all fluffy]
Either: Use a carpet stain remover according to directions on product container.
Or: Sponge half-and-half clear vinegar and warm water onto the stained area and allow it to sit for a few minutes.
Sponge the area with water and blot again - to remove traces of vinegar.
If still showing slight stain - mix drop of washing up liquid with warm water and dab.
Rinse with clear water and dab.
* Always Test on a small area first.
This worked for me but there are all types of carpet materials out there - so sorry can't completely guarantee the process.
*Disclaimer [I know it sounds serious here - but not wanting any claims so :-
Try this advice at your own risk.
Otherwise: Contact you local Chemdry Agent.
Hope it works for you.
Hope it's your carpet then there won't be a claims direct moment ...
If you've spilt tea on carpet:
Dab as much tea from the spillage as possible [with a CLEAN cloth]
Pour water onto the stain and soak up with CLEAN cloth [don't want any other stains accidentally adding themselves to the tea!]
[Don't rub carpet as the pile will break down and look all fluffy]
Either: Use a carpet stain remover according to directions on product container.
Or: Sponge half-and-half clear vinegar and warm water onto the stained area and allow it to sit for a few minutes.
Sponge the area with water and blot again - to remove traces of vinegar.
If still showing slight stain - mix drop of washing up liquid with warm water and dab.
Rinse with clear water and dab.
* Always Test on a small area first.
This worked for me but there are all types of carpet materials out there - so sorry can't completely guarantee the process.
*Disclaimer [I know it sounds serious here - but not wanting any claims so :-
Try this advice at your own risk.
Otherwise: Contact you local Chemdry Agent.
Hope it works for you.
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